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Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Blue Harvest: Horror Beyond Your Imagination... RETURN OF THE JEDI

RETURN OF THE JEDI
(alternate title: STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI)
Released 25 May 1983
Directed by Richard Marquand
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, David Prowse, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew, Alec Guinness, Warwick Davis,  Kenneth Colley, Caroline Blakiston, Jeremy Bulloch, Michael Carter, Femi Taylor, Frank Oz (voice), James Earl Jones (voice), Timothy M. Rose (voice), Mike Quin (voice)
Rated PG for sci-fi action violence.
134 minutes

Nominated for 4 Academy Awards, Recipient of 1 Special Category Award:
Special Achievement Award - Richard Edlund, Dennis Muren, Ken Ralston & Phil Tippet (for achievement in visual effects)
Best Original Score - John Williams (Nominated; lost to THE RIGHT STUFF) 
Best Sound Mixing -  Ben Burtt, Gary Summers, Randy Thom & Tony Dawe (Nominated; lost to THE RIGHT STUFF) 
Best Sound Editing - Ben Burtt (Nominated; lost to THE RIGHT STUFF) 

Box Office 
Estimated Production Cost: $32.5 million
Box Office Gross (initial release only): $252.5 million
Lifetime Box Office Gross (including 1985 and Special Edition 1997 re-issues): $309.3 million
Worldwide Box Office Gross: $475.1 million
49th Highest-Grossing Film of All-Time (domestic)
155th Highest-Grossing Film of All-Time (worldwide)
15th Highest-Grossing Film of All-Time (adjusted for ticket price inflation)

RETURN OF THE JEDI is charged with the task of tying together the loose ends of its predecessor and wrapping up the trilogy in an epic and fitting conclusion, an unfortunate duty to live up to, one that is all too rarely fulfilled satisfactorily by any "threequel" (the only cases that come to mind are TOY STORY 3 and THE LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING*).  JEDI is a good, fun fantasy adventure at most times, but it's spotty in ways that its predecessors were not, and it's the strangest of the original trilogy by far.  It's structurally imbalanced between two different stories, one occupied with catching the conclusion of EMPIRE up to the necessary staging for a grand climactic battle, and one occupied with the grand battle to finish the larger story.  It's also split in another way, between an epic, mythic adventure as set by its predecessors, and a sillier, softer kids' adventure.
Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star. When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy...

RETURN OF THE JEDI is the most exotic and bizarre of the trilogy, and as the third chapter of a three-part saga, it resurrects certain ideas raised by the first chapter while upping the ante considerably.  However, the real story of this film is postponed to rescue Han Solo, frozen alive in a block of carbonite and delivered to the sinister crime lord Jabba the Hutt at the end of the previous film.  For this, out heroes must return to Tatooine, where the first quarter of the film is occupied with a separate story from the following three-quarters, a heist story.  It's a great showcase for Phil Tippett's work with a colorful assortment of creature characters headlined by Jabba himself, a huge, grotesque slug/amphibian hybrid who mostly chills out in his palace with the coolest entourage in the galaxy, eating alien frogs and occasionally feeding those who displease him to his massive carnivorous pet, the Rancor (another incredible Tippett puppet).  Jabba also has unexpected sexual tastes for a big, bloated, slug-frog, which I can only assume has resulted in an uncomfortable sexual awakening for many a little Star Wars fan.  Leia, who started the trilogy as one of the great feminist portrayals in a blockbuster film, now has an excuse to appear in a gratuitous but undeniably fetching metal bikini, but I remember in my boyhood how hot I got under the collar at those Playboy Bunnies of the Star Wars universe, the Twi'lek ladies, such as "Oola", a green-skinned dancer played by Femi Taylor, and in the Special Edition, Lyn Me, a mauve-skinned backup singer.  They may have tentacular tails hanging off the back of their heads, but their extremely economically designed outfits show off a lot of their womanly shapes.

Boba Fett is Secretly Jar Jar
I really appreciate the way that Boba Fett dies like a bitch, too.  It's really spiteful and played as a comic beat, where he's completely inept, his oh-so-cool jet pack accidentally set off by a blind guy, sending him flying into the side of Jabba's barge, off of which he bounces off into the Sarlaac pit (another cool creature creation, basically something along the lines of a vagina, an anus, or some sort of giant glory hole just hanging out in the desert sand), and just to rub it in, the Sarlaac burps.  Boba Fett is like the teenage heartthrob of Star Wars, like Taylor Lautner in the Twilight series; it's harmless, but the fans' affinity for the character is so intense and based on such frustratingly superficial reason that I'm compelled to call them out.  Boba Fett is barely a character.  He's a costume design.  He does next to nothing, and fittingly, his original introduction was in the hilariously infamous Star Wars Holiday Special.  Now, this is just a theory, mind you, but I'm pretty sure Boba Fett is actually Jar Jar Binks.  Hang on, think about it- we never really found out what happened to Jar Jar after REVENGE OF THE SITH, and this guy is shrouded in mystery, never removes his helmet, and clearly has something to hide.  He rides entirely on his reputation.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  We assume that he occasionally disintegrates a bounty just because Vader tells him not to?  What kind of dumb bounty hunter would disintegrate their victim?  He'd get no money!  He lets Darth Vader do practically all the work to apprehend Han and then just collects the goods, he never kills anyone onscreen.  He doesn't even injure anyone.  He fires a few shots at Leia, Lando and Chewie in Cloud City, but for such a skilled bounty hunter, his aim is no better than a stormtrooper's, and with the exception of Jar Jar, he is the clumsiest character in the movies.  He bounced off a wall and fell into the Sarlaac because a blind guy accidentally bumped him!  You'd think the guy would at least be able to stabilize himself after years of supposedly using that backpack.  If he was really Boba Fett, you'd think he'd take a little better care of his armor, too, after his dad kept it so shiny for him.  What if, after all this time, George Lucas actually had already given us that great Jar Jar Binks death scene years before we even knew that there was a Jar Jar Binks and that we hated him?  It's just a theory, but I like it because it really pisses off the fanboys.  I also like the Robot Chicken parodies where Boba Fett is an alcoholic.
Act 3
Where the third chapter of the story really gets started is, ironically, where it really slows down, with Han freed, Jabba the Hutt dead and Han, Leia, Lando, Chewbacca and C-3PO headed for the rendezvous with the Rebel Alliance and Luke with R2-D2 returning to Dagobah to see Yoda.  The timeline of how Jedi are trained as well as the time span between EMPIRE and JEDI is confusing here, as Luke seems to have progressed so far since the previous film, but this is the first time he's returning to see Yoda.  Plus, Yoda is older and weaker now, substantially since we last saw him; he's dying.  All the exposition is laid out in this and the following scene at the Rebel conference, clearly identifying this as the first act of the film, even though we're nearly halfway into the movie by now.
After confirming the revelation of EMPIRE (not that it needed confirming, but only for the sake of the naysayers), Yoda dies, leaving Luke alone as the last remaining Jedi in the galaxy, and now he must face his father, either to kill him, as Obi-Wan (who's become a bit of a jerk in light of recent developments) urges him to do, or to bring him to salvation, as Luke believes he can.
The climactic final clash between the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire revolves around yet another Death Star, a recycled plot point from the original film that is at this point, frankly, absurd.  We're informed that this one is even more powerful than the first, but the first one had the capacity to obliterate entire planets.  Even if it's more powerful, what bigger death job could the Empire possibly require?  How many planets do they need to obliterate anyway?  The under-construction Death Star II is an impressive visual, but story-wise, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Meanwhile, Han's position in the story is confused as it's built on a foundation that allowed for the character's death.  Rumors persist that Harrison Ford's return for the third film was uncertain when the character was frozen in carbonite at the end of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, but they couldn't just write off the character like that, so we have a full beginning third devoted to bringing him back into the main narrative.  So while they couldn't leave his conclusion frozen in carbonite, they're forced to go to all the work of bringing him back, only to then have him die later in the film, as was suggested.  George Lucas, who wielded significantly more interest on JEDI than EMPIRE, vetoed that idea, opting for a more clearly triumphant conclusion for the Rebellion, but Han's role is neutered and obligatory at best.  Lando has taken his place in the captain's chair of the Millennium Falcon in the mission to fly into and destroy the core of the Death Star II (I feel like the ventilation shaft of the original Death Star was a substantially lesser weakness), and as leader of a squad to shut down a shield based on the forest moon of Endor, Han is essentially on the sidelines of the conflict and sometimes reduced to comic relief.  His part in the film is basically fan service.
Now, about those darn Ewoks; have you ever noticed that the word "Ewok" is never once used in the film?  Anyway, they are played as cute characters, but they're a bit grotesque with their lips, fingers and sticking their tongues out through their tight mouths (gross).  As with the Death Star, the Ewoks are a recycled idea from the original STAR WARS, albeit one that never made it into the final draft of the script.  A variation on "Wookie", the Ewoks fill the role that Lucas originally envisioned for the Wookies as a "primitive" nation (also furry and even more bear-like) whose seemingly quaint capabilities would contribute directly to the fall of the Empire (Lucas realized that Chewbacca was too tech-savvy for the Wookies to be portrayed as primitive).  Lucas, who prior to making STAR WARS was intended to direct APOCALYSPE NOW as a dark satire about the Vietnam War, has cited as his inspiration for this notion, the success of the under-supplied Vietcong forces against the technological might and resources of the U.S. military in the Vietnam War.  However, Charlie the Ewoks are not, using slingshots to hurl rocks at armored Imperial troops who fall when hit like a father playing a game with his kids.  In the decisive battle for the fate of the galaxy, the Ewoks are making pratfalls and Little Rascals-style hijinks.  One of them dies though, so that's nice.

Culmination
JEDI has a unique three-pronged climactic battle (Endor, the space battle, and the throne room) in service of resolving a two-fold overarching conflict, the conflict between the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire, and the conflict between the Jedi and the Sith (although the word Sith is never used in the original trilogy), the latter being the more interesting.  The best stuff about JEDI revolves around confronting the questions at the center of EMPIRE, Luke's fate at the center of a war between light and dark, his connection to Vader and quest to redeem him while finally facing the supreme darkness in the known galaxy.  The scene on Endor when Luke delivers himself directly to Vader is gripping and unusual, stopping for Luke and Vader to have a brief conversation as a father and son in a, shall we say, unconventional relationship.  It sets the board for what's to come, with Luke pleading for his father's soul, and his father's partial acknowledgement that he may require saving, but while arguing that it cannot be done and convinced that his son must either join the dark side or die.
JEDI doesn't have the prolonged, spectacular lightsaber fighting that you would expect from the climactic chapter (the sort which wrap up the prequel trilogy in REVENGE OF THE SITH), but instead culminates in a moral duel, as the Emperor and Vader provoke Luke to give into his anger and use violence and aggression against them, resulting in a few unexpectedly brief physical bouts between Luke and Vader; nothing more elaborate than we've seen before, and less elaborate than the duel in EMPIRE.  However, in the final of these spats, as Luke is provoked into fighting Vader, the movie reaches its emotional peak with a swelling chorus and a short but marvelous wide angle tracking shot as a rage-fueled Luke drives Vader back.
The Emperor, played by Ian McDiarmid (who would reprise the role 16 years later in a younger version without the old age makeup), is a character who has lurked behind the scenes of the Empire and Vader for the previous two films, only referenced in passing in STAR WARS, and shown in a different design (actress Elaine Baker with superimposed chimpanzee eyes) as a hologram for one scene in EMPIRE.  In Star Wars mythology, at least in the six released films by Lucas, Emperor Palpatine (only referred to as "The Emperor" in the film) is essentially Satan, as close to pure evil as the series comes.  With yellow eyes and a warped, deeply creased face under a black hood, McDiarmid leans into that unabashed persona with a vigorous, scenery-chewing performance that's a lot of fun to watch, but the character doesn't know when to quit.  Each time he manages to bring Luke to a boiling point, the guy starts blathering about how great Luke is doing, and if this slimeball is commending for something, it must be something bad, and it reminds Luke to check himself.  The Emperor is his own worst enemy.

Racing to the Finish Line
JEDI is consistently entertaining with fun visuals and colorful action, but it's undoubtedly the weakest of the original trilogy, and not by an insubstantial margin.  However, I would most often prefer to re-watch over EMPIRE.  It sounds absurd, because EMPIRE is undeniably the superior film, but even for all its inferiority, JEDI is more fun.  It's that way by design, as Lucas was disappointed by EMPIRE's pacing and sophisticated tone, so he kept a much tighter creative leash on JEDI, and as an executive producer with a huge financial stake in its success (as with EMPIRE, with which he stressed over greatly, especially in light of director Irvin Kershner's less marketable approach), Lucas ensured that it was extremely marketable with lots of unique characters for merchandise.  It's not necessarily a bad thing; it's arguably a little crass, but it's the nature of the business, and although the Ewoks aren't so good, it's not why the film is such a step down for the series.  The only other director to make a Star Wars movie besides Lucas and Kershner, prior to the Disney acquisition, Richard Marquand is easily forgotten within the legacy of Star Wars, which is basically what Lucas desired.  Although it's what Lucas told his old film school professor he wanted when Kersher was hired to direct the first sequel, Kershner was too independent for Lucas' tastes when his own money was at stake.  Marquand is essentially Lucas' stand-in, and even then, Lucas reportedly acted as a second unit director frequently, nullifying his efforts to lighten the burden of being on a set everyday by hiring another director in the first place.
JEDI is hurrying to wrap things up.  Most Star Wars fans are well aware of Lucas' account of how the saga originated as a myth and serials inspired space epic, convoluted and revolving around the galactic hero Annikin Starkiller, later made into Luke Starkiller, before the story as we know it came into being, and how Lucas then realized that there was too much story for a single film and conceived it as a trilogy (in many cases, he's claimed that he had two full trilogies, the originals and the prequels, as we know them).  However, over the years, Lucas and other parties involved have given contradicting accounts that indicate how undefined the concept was originally and how much had to be developed and how the larger story kept changing as he went along (for an in-depth and expansive look at the behind-the-scenes storycraft of the series, check out Michael Kaminski's The Secret History of Star Wars: The Art of Storytelling and the Making of a Modern Epic).  Although STAR WARS was intended as part of a series, Lucas didn't quite know just what that story was, whether it was an adventure-of-the-week format or a sprawling saga, until the film was the biggest hit of all time and gave him license to then do with it whatever he wanted.  While developing EMPIRE, Lucas stumbled upon the twist of Vader being Luke's father, and that family drama opened up the larger story for him where STAR WARS was already fourth in a series while a full trilogy showing Vader and Ben Kenobi's friendship, fallout and the rise of the Empire.  Lucas also intended to follow up the trilogy he was currently working on with films VII, VIII and IX, exploring another, largely undefined character, which was set up in EMPIRE when Yoda referred to "another" who could still resurrect the Jedi Order if Luke failed.  But the stress of making EMPIRE and his interest in exploring other projects led Lucas to eventually scrap that second trilogy, forcing JEDI to pick up the pieces.
The reveal that Leia is Luke's sister, chosen as the 'another' hope set up by EMPIRE, is visibly clunky, inserted as a significant part of the copious exposition dealt with on Dagobah, almost as a side note to everything else, and then passed along to Leia and then to Han.  It's just as well that the romantic plot line of EMPIRE brought Han and Leia together, but Luke was intended to take the lonely warrior's path, leaving Han and Leia as the obvious choice if anyone was going to get together.  However, now that infamous kiss Leia plants on Luke to spite Han in EMPIRE takes on a whole new comedic aspect, a fairly icky one.
The story also has to become about Vader's redemption, while tying into Luke's triumphant entry into Jedi knighthood, along with the ultimate victory for the Rebel Alliance, and without killing off any of the major heroes, at the insistence of Lucas.  As such, JEDI often feels busy tying up all those loose ends, resulting in an episodic structure, as if it's being made up as they go along.  The main character is still Luke, but the main conflict as it's established at the start is the threat of the Death Star II, a threat that never factors into Luke's story directly (although the climax of Luke's story is set within the Death Star II, it is not a threat for him; in contrast, the Rebel's attempts to destroy it are a greater, if irrelevant threat), and the Death Star II never even returns as a plot point after the opening scene until about halfway into the movie.  A huge portion of the film is devoted to bringing back Han, a leftover plot point from EMPIRE, before another section of the film is spent on Dagobah, another leftover plot point from EMPIRE while also delivering a lot of necessary exposition for Luke's story.  The Death Star II is practically rendered incidental.
Dagobah involves a lot of housework for EMPIRE's loose ends, particularly that doozy of Luke's wise old mentor Ben turning out to be a big, fat liar.  "A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father."  So goes the story Ben told to Luke back in STAR WARS in answer to how his father died, but as was Lucas's apparent notion at the time, Vader's backstory was that he was indeed Ben's apprentice, but after turning to the dark side, Ben and his ally, Luke's father Anakin (or Annikin), confronted Vader in combat on a volcanic planet, and in the battle, Vader slayed Anakin before Ben sent Vader into the lava and left him for dead.  With EMPIRE, the best Ben can give to Luke as an excuse is, "What I told you was true, from a certain point of view," a philosophy that would be integral to the Emperor's teachings in converting Anakin in REVENGE OF THE SITH.  What a dick move, Ben.
Then JEDI has to find a way to maintain Vader as a villain until the proper moment at which he can be redeemed by Luke, resulting in somewhat hazy motivations for his character and a decent albeit rushed reclamation.  Of course it's a fantasy story, but the sudden, unqualified and complete turn to righteousness by a genocidal maniac isn't quite as justified as maybe it should be.  In JEDI, a lot of things are made merely "good enough".

Special Edition
RETURN OF THE JEDI has been the most heavily altered of the original trilogy and contains a number of the most egregious changes and one major alteration that I'd argue is a genuine improvement.  The film benefits significantly from the new finale (in its post-1997, pre-2004 versions, prior to the addition of Hayden Christensen) in which a more exultant musical composition by John Williams plays over a montage of galaxy-wide celebrating the fall of the Empire on Bespin, Tatooine and Coruscant, the latter where a statue of the Emperor is being pulled down (Naboo was added to the montage in 2004).  The original ending featuring the quaint celebration on Endor with the musical piece "Ewok Celebration", commonly referred to as "Yub Nub" just fails to capture a sense of real significance to this decisive victory to the conflict central to the trilogy.  It feels minor and specific, rather than the far-reaching effect emphasized by the new version.
As for the rest of the changes, many of them are incredibly frivolous, such as adding a beak to the Sarlaac Pit, a beak which looked like bad CG in 1997.  The showiest and most absurd addition in the 1997 special editions however was the new musical number "Jedi Rocks", replacing the original piece, "Lapti Nek" (well, those titles show a blatant shift in tone), performed by a now CG Sy Snootles and a furry bug-man-thing called Joh Yowza with the Max Rebo Band, with idiotically in-your-face animation.  The new scene builds to Oola's death in the Rancor pit, with actress Femi Taylor reprising her part, which is fine, and I actually like the moment where she shown in the pit and seeing the off-screen Rancor, but that whole musical number is just bad.  Another inexplicable addition came with the 2011 Blu-ray release when the scene of Vader choosing to defy the Emperor was modified with cries of "Noooo!" from Vader (taken from REVENGE OF THE SITH), undercutting the drama of the moment.  At that point, it seems like Lucas is just giving his detractors the middle finger.  That edition also included the addition of CGI eyelids for the Ewoks, which is strange, but the Ewoks are dumb anyway, so whatever.  One of the worst alterations to JEDI came with the 2004 DVD release where Sebastian Shaw, the actor who appeared as Anakin's ghost in the original version, was replaced with Hayden Christensen, the actor who played the character in the prequels.  Lucas obviously does this to make the films consistent, but then why does Obi-Wan's ghost still appear as Alec Guinness instead of Ewan McGregor, who plays the character in the prequel trilogy parallel to Anakin as Christensen?  More importantly, Christensen is one of the most prominent weaknesses of the prequel trilogy and brings with him all that baggage to this appearance, along with a smug "I am going to _____ you, and you will not enjoy it" look on his face.

Mixing Worlds
Religious Morality and Salvation
Although its predecessors also involve prominent themes of good, evil and moral trials, JEDI is even less subtle about it, with a villain in the Emperor who is essentially Satan or personified death, clad in a simple black cloak like traditional representations of the Grim Reaper.  In Luke's final trial, he goes face-to-face with evil in an attempt to redeem his father from it, and following his redemption, a dying Vader is unmasked, freed from the machine, and watches on from another life.  STAR WARS is primarily a pulp adventure, EMPIRE is darker and more ambiguous, while JEDI is, in part, a universal religious fable.
Westerns and Gangster Films
Jabba the Hutt is an archetype familiar to the westerns and crime movies from the 1930s and '40s; a crime boss who wields tremendous illegitimate power, and lounges too comfortably in a life of excess and pleasure that proves to be his downfall.
The Monster Pit
The Rancor pit Jabba drops Luke into is a familiar concept from old sci-fi and fantasy serials and comics, as well as pulp literature like John Carter of Mars and Tarzan of the Apes, or the Greek myth of Theseus, in which Theseus slays the Minotaur inside the Labyrinth.
The Triumph of Nature Over Machines
Lucas was very keen on the idea of a low-tech indigenous species overpowering the Empire, with the Ewoks being instrumental in the Rebel victory, directly comparable to the far smaller and technologically inferior communist Vietcong forces victory over the might of the United States' foreign power in the Vietnam War, although there are certainly other historical scenarios to which comparisons could be drawn.
Arthurian Legend
One of the many world myths that the series draws upon is the British legend of King Arthur, with which Ben Kenobi's role parallels that of Merlin, who, in some but not all of the various versions of the story, is bewitched and imprisoned by the Lady of the Lake in a fashion that makes him for all intents and purposes dead within the narrative, but he arrives in a ghostly form to Arthur on the eve of battle.  One particular scene in John Boorman's 1981 film EXCALIBUR (two years before JEDI) depicts this in a fashion quite similar to Ben and Luke's conversation on Dagobah.
Permeability of Death
One of the most universal and frequently recurring motifs of folklore and myth around the world is that of ghosts, not just the scary kind, but familiar loved ones piercing through the veil to offer guidance or comfort, for example, in Hamlet or A Christmas Carol, along with practically every religion ever.
Top 5 of RETURN OF THE JEDI
  1. Luke and Vader's Final Bout- The lightsaber fighting in JEDI is surprisingly minor for a finale, but in a matter of only some seconds, Luke and Vader clash in a rage-fueled moment with John Williams' swelling score and an ominous chorus for one of the most emotionally powerful moments of the series.
  2. Luke Meets Vader on Endor- It's really the only quiet, personal moment between Luke and Vader in the whole series, arguably with the exception of Vader's unmasking, but that latter scene still has a lot more going on.  The scene on Endor is the satisfying establishment of the conflict at the center of JEDI, with Luke, seeing Vader the first time since their duel on Bespin, intent on saving his father's soul, and Vader, perhaps not with his heart in it, bound to the dark side and the Emperor, to deliver Luke.  It's an unusual and personal within the movie.
  3. Ian McDiarmid as the Emperor- Only 37 at the time, Scottish actor Ian McDiarmid was noticed by Lucas in a play in which he portrayed an elderly character in old age makeup.  As the Emperor, he plays it big, as if fighting to outdo his makeup (yellow contact lenses, deeply furrowed features, and morbidly pale hands), and it's a delight to watch.
  4. Jabba- Jabba the Hutt, only mentioned in previous films, is so much more awesome than we knew; a big, bloated, amphibious slug who's so fat he has to be rolled around on a slab, with a giant man-eating monster in the basement and the coolest space entourage in the galaxy having a perpetual party.
  5.  Boba Fett's Embarrassing Death- Possibly the most overrated character in pop culture history, Boba Fett, a nothing character who does nothing to distinguish himself as a true villain or any sort of worthwhile entity, toward whom all affection is painfully superficial, dies in the most ridiculous way, as if the filmmakers are making fun of people for ever liking him.  He gets bumped by a blind guy and falls into a giant glory hole, and as if it weren't enough, the Sarlaac burps, punctuating the absurdity of this stupid character's end.  Ha!  Seriously though, it wouldn't be that big a deal if some people weren't so enamored of him.  This fandom makes no sense.
Bottom 5 of RETURN OF THE JEDI
  1. Ewoks- The Ewoks are maybe not as bad as their reputation, but they're certainly not a favorable element of JEDI.  Mostly it's in the comical slapstick fashion with which they dispose of the Emperor's "best troops", but there's also some dumb jokes and a lot of cutesy moments that feel cheap.
  2. Recycling Plot Points- The Death Star II looks cool, but what's the point?  It's weaknesses are significantly more apparent than those that allowed the first one to be destroyed, and the first one was capable of destroying a planet, so there's no indication of how and why this would have more firepower.
  3. "Yub Nub"- It wouldn't be fair to include problems from the Special Edition, because those are just too obvious, but specific to the theatrical version, the finale is so weak.  It lacks the sense of consequence that the resolution of the series' conflict ought to have, and it definitely doesn't help that it seems pretty well centered around the damn Ewoks.
  4. Plan to Rescue Han- I'm not sure how they thought this would all go down; Lando goes in as a palace guard with apparently some intention, Luke supposedly tries to trade C-3PO and R2-D2 for Han, and maybe Leia was going to sneak out with Han but leave Lando, Chewbacca, R2 and 3PO behind?  Nothing about this is coherent.  Luke probably should have just gone in himself and taken care of business; it's what ultimately happens anyway.
  5. The Emperor is Too Proactive For His Own Good- Yes, McDiarmid's over-the-top performance is in the 'best of' list, but as for the character, he might want to try a little subtlety.  In attempting to convert Luke, he is his own worst enemy.  When Luke is thinking about picking up his lightsaber, the Emperor advises, "Give into your anger," and when Luke has Vader down for the count, the Emperor has to open his big mouth again, reminding Luke of just what he wants to avoid.  Just let it happen Emperor.  Just let it happen.

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