February 6th
JUPITER ASCENDING (SCI-FI/ACTION-ADVENTURE)
Directed by The Wachowskis; Starring: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, Tuppence MiddletonRated PG-13 for some violence, sequences of sci-fi action, some suggestive content and partial nudity.
This one is a tough sell, but maybe the crowds will turn out for Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis. Originally scheduled for a July 25, 2014 release, Warner Bros. pushed it back almost half a year, citing the visual effects as requiring further time, although it's no secret that an original sci-fi "space opera" is an even tougher sell in the heat of the busy summer blockbuster season. Written, directed and produced by the Wachowskis, siblings Andy and Lana, by far best known for 1999 sci-fi landmark THE MATRIX and its sequels, JUPITER ASCENDING hopes to follow in the footsteps of the definitive space opera, STAR WARS. The film is centered around Jupiter Jones (Kunis), an unassuming young housemaid, who happens to be the heir to an ancient alien race, but she has rivals, including the warlord Balem (Eddie Redmayne). Balem sends Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically-engineered warrior, to dispatch of her, but he chooses to defend her instead as an intergalactic war mounts. It's potentially an awful lot of information to take in, and the tone looks a little overly serious, but if nothing else, JUPITER ASCENDING looks interesting.
February 6th
SEVENTH SON (FANTASY/ACTION-ADVENTURE)
Directed by Sergei Bodrov; Starring: Ben Barnes, Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Alicia Vikander, Kit Harington, Olivia Williams, Antje Traue, Djimon HounsouRated PG-13 for intense fantasy action and violence throughout, frightening images and brief strong language.
SEVENTH SON has been bouncing around for a while, prolonging its inevitable crash and burn, which its distributors are striving to make as low-profile as possible, especially since it's owned by Universal, which was forced to do the same with the hugely expensive bomb 47 RONIN in 2013. It's not merely a lack of faith in the movie however, but also the result of a split between Legendary Pictures (which produced the film) and the original distributor, Warner Brothers, when it was intended to be released a year ago on January 17, 2014. By that time, the date had already been changed twice before, from February 15, 2013 to October 18, 2013, then to January 17, 2014.
Based on the young adult fantasy novel The Spook's Apprentice (published in the U.S. as The Last Apprentice: Revenge of the Witch), it's a typical swords & sorcery adventure about a young man, the seventh son of a seventh son, who becomes the apprentice of John Gregory, the Spook (Jeff Bridges), a crotchety old knight of an elite order. Then they fight witches and monsters.
It's grossed $60 million overseas, where it was released in December. That's actually pretty good, but while there aren't any credible sources on the production cost, it's almost definitely in the range of $100-$150 million, and it doesn't appear to have any traction in the United States. Plus, it looks really dumb.
February 6th
THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER (FAMILY/ANIMATED-COMEDY)
Directed by Paul Tibbit & Mike Mitchell; Featuring the Voices of: Tom Kenny, Bill Fagerbakke, Rodger Bumpass, Clancy Brown, Carolyn Lawrence, Mr. LawrenceNot Yet Rated
I really like Spongebob's first big screen outing, 2004's THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE. That was over a decade ago when Stephen Hillenburg's Nickelodeon animated series was at the height of its popularity, as well as the peak of its brilliance. I still enjoy the movie and those older episodes, but I can't help but feel a sense of disappointment at the cynical decision to convert the hand-drawn characters to computer-animated monstrosities. Spongebob and other denizens of Bikini Bottom are threatened by the dastardly pirate Burger-Beard (played in live-action by Antonio Banderas), so they become superheroes and go to the surface to fight Burger-Beard and his crew of super villain pirates. Hillenburg gets a story credit, but Paul Tibbit, showrunner since Hillenburg resigned in 2004 (just before the show really took a downturn in quality), has taken on the roles of director, producer and co-writer. Co-writing the script with Tibbit is the team of Glenn Berger and Jonathan Aibel, who wrote the excellent KUNG FU PANDA, as well as the dreadful ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL and ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED.
February 13th
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (EROTIC DRAMA/ROMANCE)
Directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson; Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eloise Mumford, Luke Grimes, Rita Ora, Victor Rasuk, Max Martini, Dylan NealRated R for strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language.
What started as an internet-published fan fiction serial based on Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series attributed to "Snowqueen's Icedragon", and went on to be re-written as an original erotic novel that was a lurid sensation among middle-aged women (earning the label "mommy porn" in the press), is now a $40 million, R-rated, Hollywood porno aimed at women. Not that there's a problem with that, it's just weird in so many ways. Directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, whose only other feature film to date is the independently-produced teen John Lennon biopic NOWHERE BOY, Anastasia "Ana" Steele (Dakota Johnson), a mild-mannered young woman who meets a wealthy, ultra-douchebag, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) who is super into sadistic sex, and helps Ana realize that she is super into masochistic sex. The character names alone are so hilariously on-the-nose, and the setup is super contrived, it might not be so bad if approached in the appropriate, tongue-in-cheek way. There's simply no getting around the fact that the appeal of the books is in sexual arousal, which is the very definition of porn, but nobody wants to spend $40 million making an NC-17-rateed movie that most theaters and stores won't carry anyway, so it's R-rated porn. What a crazy world we live in.
February 13th
KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE (ACTION-COMEDY)
Rated R for sequences of strong violence, language and some sexual content.
It may be an unpopular opinion, but KICK-ASS was barely okay, and of all of Matthew Vaughn's films which I've otherwise liked a great deal, KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE is clearly meant to emulate KICK-ASS. It'll probably be a ton of fun, but I'm still a bit cautious. Based on the comic book series The Secret Service by Mark Millar, who also wrote the source material for KICK-ASS, KINGSMAN is a tongue-in-cheek spy thriller in which a veteran badass (played by Colin Firth) takes an uncouth youth under his wing to teach him the trade, just as a new and formidable villain (played by a lispy Samuel L. Jackson) emerges with a plot with worldwide implications. Expect stylish and over-the-top violence, cool catchphrases and wry comedy.
February 20th
THE DUFF (COMEDY)
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual material throughout, some language and teen partying.
According to this teen comedy, the DUFF stands for "Designated Ugly Fat Friend", which is just ridiculous, because anyone whose ever been to high school knows that a DUFF is a "Dumb Ugly Fat Friend", but you'll just have to get past that for this movie. Mae Whitman (Parenthood, SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD, THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER) stars as Bianca Piper, an unsuspecting high school student who discovers that she is the DUFF in her social circle and resolves to reinvent herself or overthrow the whole school social hierarchy. The high school labels and social upheaval angle has been done many times before and regularly comes off as trite, while Whitman is starting to get a bit old for high school roles, but her inherent likability could be THE DUFF's saving grace. If all else fails, it at least seems to have its heart in the right place.
February 20th
HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2 (COMEDY)
Starring: Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry, Clark Duke, Adam Scott, Chevy Chase, Gillian Jacobs, Christine Bently, Kellee Stewart, Jessica Pare
Rated R for crude sexual content and language throughout, graphic nudity, drug use and some violence.
I still haven't actually seen the first HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, but the previews for this sequel make me more interested than I was before. It's an unlikely sequel; the original wasn't exactly a box office disappointment, but it certainly wasn't anything remarkable or of the sort that typically precedes a sequel (it did better sales on home formats). But because it's a sequel that Hollywood doesn't actually care that much about, and has largely come about thanks to the efforts of the less financially-invested talents, the result is wildly unpredictable with great potential. Initially titled Hot Tub Time Machine 3: Because Hot Tub Time Machine 2 Hasn't Happened Yet (according to Rob Corddry, the marketing department forced the change), HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 2 returns to Nick, Lou and Jacob, three of the four buffoons who traveled back in time to the 1980s in the first film, now immensely wealthy after exploiting their time traveling knowledge to invent the internet and write successful pop songs. When Lou is shot by an assailant from the future, they travel ten years ahead to stop the attacker meet their friend Adam's (John Cusack from the original, not returning for this film) grown-up son, played by Adam Scott. It looks very funny, but very unhinged, for better or worse.
February 20th
MCFARLAND, USA (SPORTS DRAMA)
Rated PG for thematic material, some violence and language.
Recipe for a Disney sports drama:
1 true sports-related story with adversity to be overcome (preferably with a dash of eccentricity)
1 prolific and marketable star with adult appeal
A portion of 'PG'-appropriate social issues
A dash of humorous culture clash
Another Disney family sports drama, MCFARLAND, USA is the story of Jim White (Kevin Costner), a job-hopping coach who is hired as a P.E. coach at the high school in a predominantly Latino farming community and recognizes the running prowess of some of his students. Forming a cross-country running team, Mr. White helps inspire his team and builds a new legacy for the community. You can probably guess pretty well what you'll get with this.
February 27th
FOCUS (CRIME-DRAMA/COMEDY)
Directed by Glenn Ficarra & John Requa; Starring: Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Rodrigo Santoro, Gerald McRaney, BD Wong, Robert Taylor, Dominic FumusaRated R for language, some sexual content and brief violence.
Will Smith stars as a seasoned conman finds himself going up against an old flame, played by THE WOLF OF WALL STREET's Margot Robbie, as they both try to scam a dangerous billionaire in Buenos Aires. It's written and directed by the team of Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, who previously directed CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE, which I like quite a bit, and has a good pair of leads, but something about this feels all over the place and not particularly interesting. Watch for the reviews on this one.
February 27th
THE LAZARUS EFFECT (HORROR/THRILLER)
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of horror violence, terror and some sexual references.
The narrative feature film directorial debut of David Gelb (JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI), this horror film involves a team of scientists working on a serum to bring the dead back to life, when one of the lead researchers dies in a lab accident. Having already had successful tests on animals, they bring their co-worker back to life with the Lazarus serum, but when she's revived, she may have turned super evil and has telekinetic powers. The trailers for this movie are unintentionally very funny, which is rarely a good sign.
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