Review: ANNIE (2014)

ANNIE  (FAMILY-COMEDY/MUSICAL)
1 out of 4 stars 
Directed by Will Gluck
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Quvenzhane Wallis, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cavanale, Cameron Diaz, David Zayas, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Stephanie Kurtzuba, Dorian Missick, Tracie Thoms
Rated PG for some mild language and rude humor.
118 minutes
Verdict: What promised to be a modern re-envisioning of the old musical fails miserably as it too often aims to be modern in all the worst ways, with soulless, over-mixed musical numbers, brain-dead attempts at comedy and shoddy storytelling, in spite of some good casting.
YOU MAY ENJOY ANNIE (2014) IF YOU LIKED:
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR  (2008)
BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD  (2012)
EASY A  (2010)
HAIRSPRAY  (2007)
ENCHANTED  (2007)

At least on the surface, all the major ingredients to make a 2014 update of Annie, the 1977 stage musical based on the classic 1920 comic strip, Little Orphan Annie, seem to be in place.  They have a likable lead in Academy Award-nominated child actress Quvenzhane Wallis (who had a very brief role in last year's 12 YEARS A SLAVE, but is best known as "Hushpuppy" from BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD), and two talented, not to mention comedically-gifted, co-stars Jamie Foxx and Rose Byrne.  Director, co-producer and co-writer Will Gluck's last two theatrically-released films, EASY A and FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, were both surprisingly funny, and it's clear that he has good intentions with his re-envisioning of the familiar story.  Regardless, ANNIE is an utter failure.  Partly beat-driven, pop-styled musical aimed at the High School Musical crowd (assuming there still is one), and partly a confused mishmash of watery social commentary for politically-conscious parents, the movie is unfocused, cutesy and dull.
Reset in a contemporary New York City, Annie Bennett (Wallis) is a streetwise kid who was abandoned by her parents at an Italian restaurant six years ago and now lives in a foster home run by bitter alcoholic Colleen Hannigan (Cameron Diaz).  One day she has a run-in with Will Stacks (Foxx), a billionaire cell phone tycoon running for New York City mayor, but trailing in the polls for appearing out-of-touch.  When his encounter with Annie is caught on camera and goes viral, it humanizes him in the public eye and creates a boost in the polls, so Stacks' crafty campaign adviser, Guy (Bobby Cavanale), arranges to have Annie stay in Stacks' penthouse for a while as part of a thinly-veiled P.R. move.
Wallis is as pleasant as can be and has good chemistry with Foxx, who is to thank for most of the movie's few good laughs, while Rose Byrne, who plays Foxx's personal assistant and possible romantic interest, Grace, is as good as ever, even if the script doesn't serve anyone well.  Diaz and Cavanale are both flops, overplaying their already hammy characters, coming off embarrassing instead of funny.
As a musical, ANNIE is weirdly self-aware, where the characters burst into song like any other musical, but everyone around acknowledges it as singing.  It's an interesting idea, but not carried very far, and the new arrangements of the familiar songs (with some new ones as well) feel soulless.  Not that there's anything wrong with the modified lyrics, but for those familiar with the old ones, some of the changes may elicit giggles.
On the whole, it feels cheap and shoddy, with over-mixed musical numbers, a fast and loose narrative that relies too heavily on montages to string together the occasional contrived plot point, and a sickly assortment of lame jokes referencing social networking and internet culture.  It's a real shame too, because early on, there's potential for an interesting and witty satire of the musical's "insufferably happy-go-lucky orphan girl wins the lottery" story, but it quickly goes off the rails into brain-dead family fare with slightly hazy morals.