Review: TRANSFORMERS 4

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION  (ACTION-ADVENTURE/FANTASY) 
1.5 out of 4 stars
Directed by Michael Bay
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Li Bingbing, Titus Welliver, Sophia Myles, T.J. Miller, Peter Cullen (voice), John Goodman (voice)
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, language and brief innuendo.
Verdict: An almost entirely perfunctory and uninspired piece of commercial filmmaking, TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION is simply too much of what it is to even give it much thought.
YOU MAY ENJOY TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION IF YOU LIKED:
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (2011)
TRANSFORMERS (2007)
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (2009)
PAIN & GAIN (2013)
ARMAGEDDON (1998)

I don't care enough about TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION to hate it.  I almost wonder if director Michael Bay, returning for his fourth outing with the franchise, even cared much, given that he seems to be on cruise control, checking off boxes on the Michael Bay movie checklist with mechanical indifference.  At least previously, the Transformers films were guaranteed smash-hits, beloved by young and unfortunately impressionable persons across the nation, even when TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN was deservingly called "the worst movie ever to gross over $400 million".  Surprisingly, some audiences have been showing apprehension about the change in casting, even though we all know it was always the giant robot battles which people were shuffling in to see.  But the action is even less coherent and less inspired than before.  Perhaps Paramount is aware of the decreasing popularity in the United States, but they've already solved that problem by jumping on the bandwagon of catering to the international audience, especially the lucrative Chinese market, where practically the whole second half of the film takes place.
At some point, it just becomes worthless to criticize Bay's filmmaking, because there is a real audience for his films, and they don't care so much.  If you enjoy a certain type of movie, that's great, because that's the point, but it's too bad that Bay's primary audience of teenage boys is being fed these morally problematic, sexist, racist excuses for pyrotechnics.  What's super strange about the Transformers series, and this installment in particular, is that while the movies are aimed at teenagers, the characters and plot, such as they are, are vastly more typical of a cartoon television show aimed at a five-year old audience, in spite of the excessive violence and PG-13-safe profanity.  That said, by now, I just don't care.

None of the human characters from previous films return in AGE OF EXTINCTION, which is set four years after the climactic battle in DARK OF THE MOON.  The United States government has severed all ties with the Autobots, and with the assistance of Lockdown (voice of Mark Ryan), the CIA is carrying out black ops missions to take out all Autobots and Decepticons alike.  Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), a struggling eccentric inventor, an average "nutty professor" except with massive biceps and a Texan's outlook, discovers a rusty old semi truck that turns out to be Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen), the highly sought after leader of the Autobots.  When federal agents come looking for Optimus, Cade, his teenage daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) and her secret race car-driving Irish-Texan boyfriend (Jack Reynor) are sent on the run with Optimus, who calls in the remaining Autobots on Earth.  Also in the mix, cooperating with the feds to obtain Transformers tech is Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci), an arrogant corporate tycoon to whom less-than-subtle Steve Jobs parallels are drawn, who is attempting to build his own Transformers, but is himself being manipulated by extra-terrestrial objectives.
The story is kind of all over the place, and it doesn't help that none of the characters have clear objectives; it's a very plot-driven movie where no one took the time to establish a clear through-line.  It's not the worst movie in the series, having nothing to match the aggressive badness of REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, but it can't even evoke the interest that that film did by being such a negative experience.  AGE OF EXTINCTION is just there.  It exists, and it exists for a very long time.  It isn't painfully dull, but it feels like the people making the movie didn't care much, and why should I?  Tucci is alright, but he doesn't have anything real good to work with, and Wahlberg just goes through the motions.  Peltz and Reynor are equally ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as their characters could allow.
When Bay's movies are good (and they never really are, but sometimes even people with good taste find themselves entertained by one), it's always chalked up to being "dumb fun".  The problem with that excuse is Bay's films almost all have obscenely extensive running times, and no movie longer than two hours should get a pass as dumb fun.  At that length, a movie has to have a little more to offer, but AGE OF EXTINCTION is almost three hours long before you include previews!  AGE OF EXTINCTION doesn't go by fast; you can feel the three hours passing, but you can't hate it, because it doesn't matter enough to deserve hate.  It's just a airy, vapid three hours of extremely loosely-defined characters doing things for reasons, while some things blow up and at the last minute, the Dinobots that have saturated the film's marketing show up for a short, perfunctory appearance.  It's not boring, or exciting or interesting in any way.  It's just...there.