Review: SOLO+Denny's Solo Inspired Menu!

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY 
(ACTION-ADVENTURE/FANTASY) 
★★1/2
Directed by Ron Howard
Screenplay by Jonathan Kasdan & Lawrence Kasdan
Based on characters created by George Lucas
Starring: Alden Ehrenreich, Joonas Suatamo, Woody Harrelson, Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Thandie Newton, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Paul Bettany, Jon Favreau (voice), Linda Hunt (voice), Ian Kenny, John Tui, Warwick Davis, Anthony Daniels
Rated PG-13 for sequences of sci-fi action/violence.
135 minutes
Unfortunately, SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY comes to the table with a bit of ill will, having been the subject of the latest and worst behind the scenes drama of the tumultuous Kathleen Kennedy era of Lucasfilm thus far when the directing team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller (having established a reputation for taking "bad idea" movies and making them good, i.e. THE LEGO MOVIE, 21 JUMP STREET and CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS, although usually with a comedic bent) were fired from production with only a few weeks of principal photography left, and replaced by the painfully safe choice of Ron Howard.  As such, it's a bit messy, and it may take some time to become fully objective about it, but let's be fair, a Han Solo solo movie isn't exactly inspired in and of itself.  That said, even while it's nothing special, it's better than it could have been.  Like the first installment of the Star Wars anthology series accompanied by the "A Star Wars Story" subtitle, ROGUE ONE, SOLO is a mixed bag of thrilling moments and "who needs it" bull crap.

Written by THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK scribe Lawrence Kasdan and his son, Jonathan Kasdan, SOLO is set between REVENGE OF THE SITH and the original STAR WARS, where the teenage Han (Alden Ehrenreich) is a resourceful young "scrumrat" on the planet Corellia, with dreams of getting his own ship and traveling the galaxy as a free man with his girlfriend/partner-in-crime Qi'ra (Emilia Clarke) by his side.  In their attempt to escape the clutches of the grotesque crime lord Lady Proxima (an awesome creature design voiced by Linda Hunt) however, Han and Qi'ra are split up, with Han evading capture by joining up with the Imperial Navy but promising to return.  A series of adventures unites Han with his co-pilot and best friend, Chewbacca (portrayed by 6'11'' tall Finnish basketball player Joonas Suotamo, taking over the role from its originator Peter Mayhew), and together they fall in with a band of thieves and smugglers led by Tobias Beckett (Woody Harrelson).  With Beckett's team, they plan to make a huge score, enough to by a ship, but when things go awry, Han finds himself involved with yet another crime lord in the form of the sinister Dryden Vos (Paul Bettany), and back into the same sphere as Qi'ra, who now has a past of her own.

The story meanders and is at times picaresque, but not always in a way that seems intended.  There are moments that seem very much in the vein of Lord & Miller (reportedly, they filmed about 30% of the finished film but settled for credit as executive producers), particularly the civil rights-minded droid pilot L3-37 (voiced by Phoebe Waller-Bridge), and there are idiotic revelations scattered throughout that smell like franchise-building B.S., but it's all fine.  It's not particularly clever, and when it tries to be is when it really feels dumb.  Like, yes we all know that people were upset when George Lucas modified the original STAR WARS to make Han shoot after Greedo, so there's going to be a self-aware corrective moment here where Han shoots someone before they can draw.  Whoop-de-freaking-do.  These new Star Wars movies could really do without the self-aware nods to fanboy resentment about things from the Special Editions and prequel trilogy.  On the other hand, while I'm glad they're not trying to erase the prequels from existence the way Lucas tried to do with the theatrically-released original trilogy, a lot of it comes down to name-dropping and throwing out the consequences from of those movies for the sake of familiarity or fanboy pandering.

In comparison to Harrison Ford, Ehrenreich's no slouch, although there's a disassociation between his Han and Ford's Han.  Both are good, but it's never particularly present in the mind that these are the same characters.  As Lando Calrissian, Donald Glover is a little more rough, partly because he's a more familiar personality as an actor than Ehrenreich, but more because of Glover's intermittent attempts to imitate Billy Dee Williams's distinctively smooth speech mannerisms which, coming out of the mouth of anyone other than Williams himself, sound like parody.  There are actually a lot of characters to keep track of in the movie, and a lot of them are underplayed in the mix, like Harrelson's "Long John Silver"-inspired character whose involvement is easy enough to forget whenever he's not onscreen, and there are a lot of characters and revelations that are given more weight than makes sense, unless it's a case of the studio pushing their animated Star Wars TV series, which wouldn't be too surprising.

While it's less ambitious, SOLO is an minor improvement over THE LAST JEDI, more fast paced and more in the vein of Star Wars, even without the Jedi characters, ironically.  The action is solid, including a cool Star Wars version of a train robbery and at least a few chases, all shot handsomely with crispness and scale by Bradford Young (known for his work on ARRIVAL and SELMA), and the production design is beautiful.  The creature designs and voices are both innovative and classic Star Wars, and pervade the movie in a way that makes me really want to see Guillermo del Toro''s theoretical "Jabba's Palace" movie.  There are a lot of covered faces with mechanical voices, giant, photosensitive caterpillars, a four-armed monkey space pilot, and a full-blown space kraken, all of which were excellent.
I don't know that it will stick with me for long, and God knows, it's too long, but at least the first half was pretty fun.

                                                                                                                                                                    Images via Lucasfilm

Denny's Solo: A Star Wars Story Inspired Menu

Co-Reactor Pancake Breakfast
Menu Description: Two buttermilk pancakes topped with fresh strawberries, strawberry sauce and whipped cream, plus a side of Crystal Crunch Rocks and a pitcher of warm citrus sauce to pour over your pancakes to make 'em go pop.  Served with two eggs, hash browns and your choice of two bacon strips or two sausage links.
$9.79
Basically the flagship of the Solo: A Star Wars Story Inspired Menu, the Co-Reactor Pancake Breakfast is what Denny's does best; breakfast food with just the right amount of weird innovation, in this case being Pop Rocks on your pancakes.  The "Crystal Crunch Rocks" aren't exactly the same as "Pop Rocks" though.  Like Pop Rocks, they are tiny candies infused with bubbles of pressurized carbon dioxide gas that cause them to pop and crackle as they melt, but the Crystal Crunch Rocks have a smooth texture and a buttery taste on top of the strawberry flavor.  My pancakes were served with the Crystal Crunch Rocks on the side, so I was able to sample them on their own, and it was weirdly like sucking on spray butter with a hint of fruitiness.  Mixing with the strawberry sauce on top of the pancakes, they made a satisfactorily noisy popping sound as I ate.  Mine was a to-go order, and unfortunately, I did not get the citrus sauce, however, everything else was included (the missing sauce was likely a mistake).  For about $10.00, it's an ample serving of food with pancakes, fruit, eggs, hash browns and either bacon or sausage (bacon for me).

Blaster Fire Burger
Menu Description: Chipotle Gouda cheese, bacon and spicy Ghost Pepper sauce top a hand-pressed 100% beef patty.  Served with lettuce, tomato, red onions and pickles on a brioche bun with a choice of side.
$10.39 ($10.98 with suggested side of Bacon Cheddar Tots)
In my experience, burgers are not Denny's strong suit.  In fact, they suck, and unfortunately, the Blaster Fire Burger was no exception.  The patty was nearly flavorless and dry, even worse than those dreadful Lean Mean Grilling Machines that squeeze all the flavor juices out from the comfort of your home.  Most of the flavor in the burger came from pickles (hard to miss that pickle flavor) and the basic spiciness of the Ghost Pepper sauce and Chipotle Gouda cheese.  Curiously, the burning sensation was mostly delayed, so it was perfectly tolerable to chew, but by the time I swallowed, it began to burn in my throat and proceeded to do so for several minutes.  Although they cost $0.50 more, I ordered the burger with the Bacon Cheddar Tots it was pictured with on the menu, which were better than the low bar set by the burger, but unremarkable balls of cheesy hash browns with bits of bacon.

Two Moons Skillet
Menu Description: Diced ham, fresh spinach, sautéed mushrooms and hash browns.  Topped with Gouda cheese sauce, Cheddar cheese and two eggs.
$9.39
Outside of the two eggs that come on top of it, I'm not sure what the Two Moons of the Two Moons Skillet are in reference to, because that one scene in STAR WARS is of two suns.  This one was a little bit of a hurdle when I was deciding whether or not I was going to try all four Solo: A Star Wars Story Inspired Menu items because mushrooms are disgusting, rubbery, little dirt warts, but when I finally tried it, I was pleased to discover that the Gouda cheese sauce and Cheddar cheese that smothered the skillet drowned out both the taste and texture of the ick.  I was also hesitant about the ham, but really, it mostly registered as cheese-smothered hash browns with a few spinach leaves and the rest were just accentuations, and I liked it a lot.  It was basically a just a big heap of savory breakfast mess.

Lightspeed Slam
Menu Description: Our Fit Slam includes egg whites scrambled together with fresh spinach and grape tomatoes, plus two turkey bacon strips, an English muffin and seasonal fruit.
$8.69
The Lightspeed Slam is actually a Lightspeed Sham, because it's actually the exact same thing as the Fit Slam from the traditional Denny's menu.  It's also a fair bit less food than the other slams with less of a price drop than you'd expect in proportion to the portions, but it is less than half the calories.  It's not bad, but it's about what you'd expect from a breakfast designed for someone watching their cholesterol.  The egg whites with spinach and tomatoes are okay, and I've nothing against English muffins, although my to-go order came with neither butter or jam, so it was pretty dry.  Turkey bacon doesn't exactly taste like your traditional pig bacon, but I wouldn't say it's either worse or better.  It's fine.  The fruit was good, maybe a little tart as the result of lemon juice or something to preserve its color.  It's just that there's not a lot of Han Solo-style adventure in watching your cholesterol.